For the final week of the Mother-Daughter Way,
we focus on transcendence.
What does that mean in everyday terms? When my mother asked me to sit for this portrait, I resisted. I was busy. She was dying. I imagined having yet another unfinished portrait to remind me of the ways we couldn’t sign off on each other. However, I agreed on the condition that I could write while she painted. I loved watching the way she rallied when she picked up a brush. As I recorded her painting me, we experienced transcendence.
We made art and stopped time, each in our own way.
To transcend suffering and enter your fullness, cultivate receptivity rather than resistance. What is resistance? It’s the limbic brain’s response to perceived threats. It’s the rational brain’s excuses for why you are not happy or loved the way you wish to be. Are you really in danger? Do you need to drop everything to respond to that new crisis, loved one’s call, or global outrage? For the last week of this journey, please go within to discern true wounds and threats from the multitude of messages we receive and retain. Let go. Open your heart to what may initially feel uncomfortable. Recognize opportunity. All growth requires change. A spirit in tune with self and the universe has nothing to fear.
This week, I suggest that you let your writing affirm your true sense of what you need, and wish to have, in your life. Circle back to the early stages of this process, your old feelings about your mother or daughter, and reflect on what you’ve seen since then, and how it has affected your sense of yourself, and the relationship with your mother/daughter. If nothing leaps to mind, don’t worry. Don’t churn or feel wrong or compare yourself to others. That’s “old you.” New you is fine with exactly how it is. Now. A fully lived life is a process of letting go, not forcing yourself or anyone else in your life to meet some external measure. Stay true to your heart and your freedom, and let yourself focus on one simple goal for now.
Write a description of your life with that goal well met. It doesn’t have to be a large goal, just a heartfelt one. Imagine yourself supported and engaged, even enthused at the prospect of having this goal. Do not tell others unless you are sure they will support you! The first rule of magic is containment. List the people in your life who are naysayers. Write that list! It doesn’t mean they don’t love you, they just don’t get you in the way you need to be gotten right now. Don’t expect them to change. Be realistic and protect your glorious progress by listing the names of those who will truly get your goal, and support you. Spend more time with them! You must find your ground, raise your boundaries, and keep your own counsel if you wish to experience the freedom and joy of the life you imagine.
And if you need some ancient wisdom to grapple with transcendence, consider the words of the 13th century poet, Rumi:
Let yourself be silently drawn by the stronger pull of what you really love.
Acknowledgment: Portrait was originally published by US 1 Worksheets, 2012